To follow or to lead

Z never really had a proper 3-wheel kick scooter and we had thrusted a 2-wheel kick scooter upon him. Our explanation had been to transit him to cycling. While we were doing so, we did not anticipate X would catch on the kick scooter fever, so much so that Z wore his 2-wheel scooter out.

A few posts ago, I mentioned that we needed to get him a new kick scooter.

Since we were going to buy him a new one, we asked if he had wanted a 2 or 3 wheel scooter. Mr H had found it ridiculous to get a 3-wheel as he deemed that as regression. However, I could tell that Z really, secretly wanted a 3-wheel scooter. Given that he could balance, there was not much of a difference to use either. However, I agreed that a 2-wheel was more challenging to use.

I wanted to get his true opinion on what he really liked instead of what his parents liked. He was very hesitant to speak his mind. When he eventually shared his honest opinion, it was to get a 3-wheel scooter to be like his friends.

I posed this question to him, “Do you want to be like your friends? Or do you want your friends to be like you?”

He answered he preferred the former.

15 minutes later, I rephrased the question and asked, “Do you want to be a follower and be like others? Or do you want to be a leader for others to follow you and be like you?”

Z immediately confirmed that he wanted to stick with the 2-wheel scooter.

I guessed this would be an example I would pull out for him in future that here we were shaping him to become a special individual, with skills to stand apart from the rest and he was too preoccupied with sticking to the norm.

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